Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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