I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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