Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
