btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
