Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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