I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
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Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
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If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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