you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
im holly from the hills drunk
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
