We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
They are going to name an STD after you.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Randomize
