why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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