I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
