i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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