After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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