Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
