I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
The beers last night were like the tears from god
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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