I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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