i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
