i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
