I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
