i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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