I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
