Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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