I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
