Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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