theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
