oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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