thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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