perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
no you cant smoke seaweed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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