highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
