The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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