Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize