SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I lost the right to judge tonight
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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