HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
