Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
