Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
