if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
This is the high leading the old right now
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize