Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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