That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
