I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
