you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
