Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
