Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
