Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
