Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
