oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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