were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
