i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
