HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
