i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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