I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
