I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
