vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
