i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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