if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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