Whod you bang
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I will be naked everywhere
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
