Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
