I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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