Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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