he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
