3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
