My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
